I’m not going to lie! I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. Actually, it has been quite a long time, longer and deeper than what I would consider normal for me. Dips in life are normal and I accept that entirely but I’m having some trouble getting out of this one on my own. I’ve taken some blows over the year, some emotional and mental sucker-punches that have made me question my value and worth.

My daily workouts and waking up at 4 am keen for the day gave way to sleeping in and often reluctance to get started. My focus and my energy levels are not where I would like them to be if I’m honest, and less-than-ideal habits are creeping in, or perhaps they already have a firm grasp. I haven’t been as driven as usual lately. Disappointments and failures stacking to trick me into believing that there is no point even trying, “it won’t work anyway”.

The desire to get back to the healthy habits that I embodied just a year ago is growing, but I have been finding it difficult. In the past when I feel that I have fallen into a rut I would take some sort of “crazy action”. Some big and drastic change to my life that would, hopefully, knock me out of my present headspace into a new one, a different one. Perhaps that is what is needed now.

I’m certainly not in bad shape, but I’m not at my best either. There is a gym literally around the corner from my home but I was finding it difficult to keep that up so I dropped the gym and created my own in the garage hoping that proximity was the only issue. Turns out it wasn’t. Once you’ve fallen out of a regular, daily, exercise habit it takes some effort to get back there.

Last week, Kellie from PLC Osborne Park (@plc_osbornepark) reached out to me and offered me a free trial at their gym. I decided to take up the offer. Perhaps this is the “crazy action” I need, to shake up my morning routine and get me out of the house early. I signed up for the 6 am class which was rather ambitious as it turns out.

As I climbed into bed last night I was already considering not going. I set my alarm for 430am and then proceeded to have one of the worst sleeps I have had in a while. When the alarm went off this morning I turned it off and went back to sleep. It’s only a free trial, skipping it isn’t going to hurt me… or is it? I couldn’t get back to sleep so I just laid there, considering my options and watching the tennis match in my head.

I’ve come to realise that integrity is quite a high value for me. If I say I am going to do something I generally keep to it. More so if it is something I have told someone else that I am going to do. So the fact that I told Kellie that I’d be there for the 6 am session was eating at me as I laid there ignoring the time and pretending that it wasn’t a big deal if I just didn’t go.

It was 520am before I decided that I was definitely going. Colby and I gathered our things, jumped in the ute and left. We were late, but not too late to join in. With no induction or instruction (because we were late) there was a bit of a fumble while I worked out what to do but was guided through by Coach Scott and had plenty of people to follow.

I’m certainly not going to suggest that after one session I have managed to get myself out of the rut but I’m thinking that I have taken a big step in the right direction. Having a set time to be there, a workout that requires no input from me, other than my presence, and the high-vibe setting and people may be just what I need to get me back on track. Getting out of the house early really shakes up my current routine and gives me the opportunity to have a workout AND make it to the beach with Colby before I’d typically be out of bed.

Sometimes we just have to admit to ourselves that we can’t do everything on our own, alone, and that change requires action, sometimes crazy action. I am glad that I decided to go even though I had a terrible night sleep and could have just as easily stayed in bed. The importance of accountability to someone else should also never be underestimated. Breaking promises to ourselves is never ideal but can be easily done, breaking a promise or a commitment to someone else is much harder.