After a long pause of several months of our IGTV Live, we’re back yet again for the first time this year starting off with an amazing transformational life coach, Tina Dewberry. Having the learnings from world-renowned personal development and motivational authors like Louise Hay and Shakti Gawain, Tina’s mission is to empower people and help them acknowledge their capabilities and potential to overcome their life’s struggles and difficulties. Focusing on “what you can do and what you can’t do” is her mantra which gives a light of hope to anyone – to persevere and to keep moving forward.
Read more about our discussion below or watch the video to learn more about her and her journey.
James: Hello! We are live. Welcome back… this is our first live after losing our old account. And we’re talking to Tina Dewberry today. Just waiting for her to come online. Hello!
James: You made it.
Tina: Yes. I was worried a bit there for a second.
James: Yeah. It’s pretty straightforward. We’ve done a fair few and they make it pretty easy for us.
Tina: Yes. Thank you for that.
James: No worries. Let’s jump straight in. Do you want to give yourself a bit of an introduction? Just who you are and what you do?
Tina: My name is Tina. I’m a self-worth coach and a Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner which is RTT for short. And I really work predominantly with women looking to, really tapping to connecting with themselves and empowering themselves so they can really live more, I guess, authentic and be true to themselves; have a more aligned life and journey.
James: Yeah, of course. Super important, obviously. So what’s your story? What’s the journey that led you to where you are now where you dedicate most of your time and energy to supporting women on their journeys?
Tina: Yeah. So, really, my journey into personal development and self-development probably started quite a few years ago,I have three sons. And my youngest son was born with a physical disability and that kind of led me to, you know… my life suddenly turned to a different direction. And I guess through that journey of my own healing led me to do a lot of work. Initially, I started off with Louise Hay. For those of your community that don’t know about that. It’s really about science of the mind and looking at the mind-body connection. Yeah. So through that I have done a lot of inner work (you could call it), and a lot of personal development work. And as I said, that started from my own path of having to heal for my own things that were going on for me. And I’ve always been curious to find out what makes people tick and what, I guess really, the pursuit of happiness so to speak. It’s pretty cliche, but what makes people happy. And certainly, for me it was what I needed to explore and find out what made me happy and bring some sort of peace to my own journey. And across that time over the years, I came across a lot of people and sharing my own experience – the journey that I had been on. And I felt that… they would often say there were things that I had come across and by sharing my story with them that helped them deal with certain aspects in their lives. So I guess it sort of stems from that and that kind of evolved where I could really take that more on a professional level and how I could really help people and work through maybe some deeper issues that they may have been experiencing themselves which kind of lead me to where I am now.
James: Yeah, cool. Do you feel like that version of you before you started to explore this stuff is vastly different from you now?
Tina: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think about, you know, my life before. I have a wonderful life, don’t get me wrong. I was fortunate to have a loving family, great relationship, and beautiful children. But there was this thing, something in me I guess I couldn’t quite put my finger on… that there was some sort of thing that I felt was missing. And I needed to really explore that more deeply. And I guess, going back to the situation like with my son, what really started that was wanting to make sure that he and my other sons as well were living their life to their optimum and living the best life that they could have. And giving them the best opportunities that they could have. And so, I guess, as I focus my life doing that for my family, to my children, then come a point where I had to I ask myself one of the questions, introspectively – “Am I doing that for myself? Am I living my true purpose or what I think my mission was?” You know, living my true essence. And that was where, I guess, I started to explore different modalities and different things to really kind of tap into that a little more deeply and get a bit more insight into my inner workings. And with that, I certainly evolved and became aware of some of the limiting beliefs that I’ve held and some of my own narratives that I had going on in my head for, I don’t know how long, my whole life really. And really unpacking them and changing that around. And when I could understand the power of that for myself, I really could see how that could benefit so many other people. And just through interactions and conversations with people and they would say to themselves, “Oh my God, you’re like… you know so much. You’ve dealt with so much.” And it was only through my own experience. So I was really just sharing what I had gone through. And realising that there were a lot of things that I had… as I said, limiting beliefs that I have about myself that I needed to unpack and change. Just reinventing myself so to speak.
James: I find there’s almost some kind of two different types of people. Those that have this sort of self-awareness and perhaps realise that there might be something missing and they start to explore different ways of trying to find it. And there are these other people who are just… who have no idea that they feel like the way they are and that’s the way they always will be. And obviously, if you’re somewhat self-aware, you’ll start exploring these things and you can make those changes and start to… you do kind of pass those to other people with though intentionally or like one-on-one or you just kind of see the examples that you’re setting and they can follow along. Did you.. When you started on your journey, did you sort of become aware of certain things that you thought might be lacking? Were there a lot of the confronting, challenging things that came up for you?
Tina: Absolutely. Yeah. There were certain things that I found out about myself or, well, discovered about myself that I actually didn’t really like. And probably one of the biggest things was, I guess, the judgement that held in. Like probably a lot of people in our culture and our society now this perfectionism epidemic that we have and you know, like trying to portray a perfect life would be the perfect friend or mom or sister or colleague or whatever that is. And really, that judgement that I… really we have this biggest judgement towards ourselves. But in a lot of situations that would, we would project that outwardly. And so when I kind of really tuned in that about me, it wasn’t, it was pretty confronting like it wasn’t something that I was happy about. But I guess the key thing that I really was pretty critical to everything that I would often say to my clients is that we have to take responsibility for ourselves. That’s the first point in our whole journey – it is about being responsible. And it’s not about blaming anyone. It not blaming yourself or other people. But it’s shifting from a victim mentality, you know. That life is happening to you rather than for you. And I think once you start to take responsibility for yourself – for all the aspects of yourself – you know, good, bad, in different, however you want to put them. They are just what they are. But also kind of… being able to unpack and unravel, you know, how they came about. Having some understanding of where they sort of stemmed from and so. You can then have a bit more compassion for yourself and then when you actually learned how to have compassion for yourself, you start to forgive yourself and you start to learn to love yourself. You know, heal yourself and all those little parts of you. And be able to accept all the different parts of you. Then, you can then do that with others. I think then your relationship certainly changes. And that is where you have to start. You’ve got to start with that relationship with yourself so you can, from there… just as you said, as a matter of course why you’re sharing that and I think being open and vulnerable with people, being honest with people and people sort of saying that you are open to discussing those kinds of things. I think that gives you, allows you to have, I guess, sort of a meaningful connection with people and you know, coming from a more genuine and vulnerable space. And that builds a deeper connection in relationships. I’d like to think anyway that through studying and doing this work that’s been my evolution and that’s been my path. I’m still a human being James and I’m still working on these things everyday. But certainly, the best place to start is by being aware and conscious of what those things are… that we are working on and trying to improve on ourselves. And all the good stuff that we all have and all are, I think is always there. It’s those little parts of us which maybe are not so pleasant kind of arise. It’s kind of like “Oh, hello. What’s this?” Let’s work on improving that a little bit more. But yes, it’s definitely a work in progress. It’s an ongoing life-learning lesson.
James: It’s all work in progress. I feel, for me, this year has been quite a big one in terms of self-discovery and self-learning. I mean I’ve been interested in personal development since I was like mid-teens. I have all this stuff of books and the people and that sort of stuff influencing my life. I’m 35 now. But this year seems to be the year…
Tina: You’re just getting started, James.
James: Yes. Well, it actually really feels like.. It really does feel like I’ve finally, like a lot of these concepts that I keep hearing as I keep on growing up reading these books. Did I always have an intellectual grasp on that I’ve understood the concepts? But this year seems to be the year that I’ve actually started to really feel them? And if you feel the truth in them and really diving deep into, I guess, a lot of the things that influence the way that I am now. And human relationships are really powerful obviously. Intimate relationships definitely.. You know I recently got.. I got a dog this year, a puppy. And I even found.. You know, one on one with a puppy – it’s actually reflecting a lot of me back to me. I catch myself thinking things about this puppy, I’m like “Oh wait. That’s me.”
Tina: Yeah. No, totally.. Oh look, that’s good. That’s gonna be me in a couple of weeks time. But, you know, having – if you have kids. I don’t know if you have kids James yet. But it was interesting having a conversation with someone the other day who is single. And you know, like we’re just sort of talking about your life and what you have and sort of asking them about relationships. We have said something about if I was looking into. And they go, “Relationships are hard.” And I was like “Yeah, relationships are hard.” But the truth is that’s where, you know, relationships are really (just like the same with your puppy) mirror back to us. Aspects of us. And like you were saying earlier, it’s when we get these things that maybe aren’t quite as endearing that it can be really confronting. But it’s being able to embrace that and harness that and kind of like go “Okay.” Now without judgement and without being harsh to ourselves like “Okay, let me just look at this a bit more and let me kind of like unpack this little bit. Where did this come from? Or Why do I think I’m you?” Really all this sort of stuff, they all stems back to, I guess, childhood, inner childhood wounding or healing. That’s the truth of it. That’s pretty much when we’re in intimate relationships or when we’re confronted with this sort of like challenging in relationships. And we have some kind of raw response reaction. Really it’s because we’re dealing from some unhealed emotional wound that we’ve had as a child. And we all do it. Even at my age (I won’t tell you how old I am James but I’m much older than you, okay)… You know, we still have that. But it’s being able to kind of like catch yourself in that moment and you know, it’s not until you go through life and you have lots of different experiences and that sort of challenge you. And I know that last few years that you’re dealing with your business, you’ve had an amazing growth. You probably had massive learning curve. And not all fun and games and a bed of roses, I’m sure. But that’s where we learn about ourselves. We learn about our strenghts, we learn about our weaknesses. And we can choose what we’re going to do with it. Sometimes I think maybe in our earlier years, in our 20’s, we’re just living life. You know, living the dream. And that’s experience. That’s fabulous. It’s great. As time goes on you have more… you set more goals whether in relationships or family or finances or career. You’re kind of like confronted with a different set of things to kind of work through. And little bit more challenge in there.Yeah, and that’s where you kind of get the test. You need to have the test. If you don’t have the test then, like you said, everything is just intellectualised. It’s still theory that you’ve written a book or that you’ve listened to some podcast or whatever. It’s then being able to put that into practice in your life and really embody it. That’s when you know it. And that’s the difference from learning it to understanding it and to know it. And I think that when you’ve kind of go through that process, you look back. I’m sure you would look back to different scenarios, I don’t know, maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Thinking how you might’ve dealt the situation then into how you would deal now. Are there any differences? I’m sure they are. What are the things that contributed to that being different for you? Yeah. It’s challenging but at the same time that where the growth is. We have to get tested with the tricky stuff to know if we’ve learned and understood it. So it’s not just theory. Not just text books. We’re not just entertaining it. We’re actually living it. Breathing it. Walking the walk not just talking the talk.
James: It is fascinating, I think. Like I’ve been enjoying the process. It’s definitely challenging. But still enjoying this deeper dive I’m having in to meet my own thoughts and beliefs.
Tina: And I think if you can look at it that way. Every experience that we have is just that an experience. We can try and shift away from labeling it good or bad. And just think of it as, you know, it’s a learning. It’s something we can learn about. We’re learning something about someone else or how to manage the situation or ourselves. And really, if you’re learning about something, you’re growing. You’re growing in your own consciousness and in your mindset. And that’s a positive thing. So, if we can sort of move in maybe in that space I think it can appease some of the angst there that we can hold and coming up against different challenges. It’s not easy but I think if we can just get, we can still start to shift our approach and our mindset towards it. And when you are perspective, we can look at it differently and it helps us to kind of move through it with a little bit more ease and a little bit more grace. But yeah, once step at a time.
James: Yes. Grace is the word. Thank you so much for saying that. I want to jump onto a thought that has been on my mind a lot lately is around, I guess, maybe… honestly, for most of this year I’ve been a little bit, I guess, “lost” in terms of purpose, meaning and what am I doing. So I want to get your thoughts on, first of all, what that kind of means – meaning and purpose and how one might go about exploring that and perhaps illuminating that to themselves.
Tina: Yeah. It is big kind of drive. You know, finding your purpose. I remember years ago, when I was on a meditation retreat and it came up. I was just like “Oh my God. Find my purpose. I’ve got to do something.” And I just always have this like, not panic but I was always stressed about it. “I’ve got to find my purpose. What’s my purpose.” And I (don’t know) read something or did something. I kind of realise finding my purpose is just really learning to be in myself, first of all. And really just doing my own inner work about taking care of myself – self-care. On all levels. You know, physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual. Just doing those things. And it wasn’t necessarily letting go of the outcome of it and just really being in the process of being in the moment. Doing things that gave you joy, first of all. I think that would probably my first sort of thing. Finding your purpose is really, you know – what gives you joy? It’s not necessarily that something has to equate into a business or that kind of thing. But sometimes it’s just about being in that state. Being in that high vibrational joyous state is enough. Because through that, you know yourself that when you’re around that and you’re just kind of – you feel inspired, you feel energetic, you’re in a really good place. You kind of connect then with people that are sort of in the same, I guess, frequency or vibration as you. I think when you’re sort of in that kind of feel, do you draw to you people that are like-minded, you know, coming from the same mindset and perspective. And I think it’s just sort of like maybe letting go of that “You’ve got to be doing something.” But if I was asked – but if I would say to someone to find your purpose… it is to start with what are the things that give you joy and if time and money (and I’d say this to my clients) and you probably know this old cliche…but if time and money were of no object, what would you do? And I believe that everyone has unique talents and gifts. And people sort of think that they have to be like creative and you have to be doing something like in an artistic way, but it isn’t necessarily that. Creative is just being able to do something that you are of service to others. And I think that is people’s purpose. What that might be for everybody is very different. For some people it may be art, it may be music, may be performance, it may be looking after animals. It may be whatever it is. Some people with business, that is… they have certain talent with that. I mean like yourself. As a farmer, someone with produce. I mean, obviously, I struggle with pot plants so… I’m inspired by people that can do that and produce for others and for the community. And be able to do that in a commercial sense, even. It’s fantastic. Everyone has some unique talent and gift. And I think when we take that time to have that in retrospection saying earlier, just take that time to kind of go deeper within themselves and find out what gives them joy. What are those things that when you’re completely in the flow. You know those activities you do when you just lose track of time and you just – you can be blocked off from everything’s going on in the world like no one else is surrounding you. You are just in that moment. That flow. I think that kind of give you some indication of the direction that you can go in. I think it’s just really tuning into what makes your heart sing. What makes you lose track of time. What gives you joy. I think from that things can open up and flow. And it’s being open. It’s being open to different opportunities. When you’re in that energy and that space, things – it’s like law of attraction, right. It’s sort of like things would come up to you. I mean, like for your self, James, how did it all, your business and projects all kind of unfolded? How did that all happen?
James: Well, it’s funny there’s this quote and I think it’s attributed to Steve Jobs, “Life can’t be understood forward, it’s only backwards.” And it’s like, when I look back over my life and all these secret of events that have lead to where I am now. It’s fascinating. And I don’t think I’ve actually planned it. It was really just kind of one step at a time. I was like “Ahh, I feel like doing this.” And I do that. And the next thing unfolds. The next thing unfolds. And all of a sudden I’ve got this business. It’s fascinating.
Tina: And it’s like, when you’re manifesting. I don’t know if you do a lot of that or if you’ve done a lot of that. But certainly with manifesting, it’s about kind of visualising and setting, having the sense of where you want to be, what you want to be doing. You know. What does it feel like, look like, taste like, all those sort of things. And not to worry about the steps it necessary takes but just being there and how it’s going to be. And when you’re focusing on that energy and you’re putting that energy like it’s already happening, as you find yourself, things just come to you. Or things just presented to you. And when you’re tuning in yourself, you’ve got that in your mind, you’ve got that as part of your vision and you see and you can feel it, the things that kind of got you there just feels right. You just feel like “Oh, you know, I’m just gonna explore.” You don’t know. But it’s just something that you… it’s hard to kind of explain and put it in logical and tangible words. But I think that’s certainly what’s happening for me as well. It’s kind of like where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do. And I’ve just trusted that, like it is my purpose. And if I’m aligned enough, if I’m coming from an authentic and genuine place then the things that would need to come to me will come to me, the people that I need to meet, I’ll meet. The different things, circumstances, situations that will present themselves will present themselves. Just trusting and letting go. I thinking that surrendering, trusting and letting go.
James: That’s the hardest part. I feel like we put barriers up to just trusting the process. And you know these pressures, they’re not unusual pressures. It’s the pressures of… societal pressures like earning an income, raising a family and that kind of stuff. And sometimes I think they’re getting the way of allowing these things to flow. Certainly in my 20’s, I was travelling and I could very easily pack up one day and get on the plane and just go to another country as long as I decided to. But now I feel like there are certainly a lot of responsibilities in place that would… not prevent me as such… but I certainly have to give them consideration before just packing your bag and jumping on a flight.
Tina: And I guess, talking about this like with your WHY. Your why needs to be bigger than you. Because, it’s when we bring it just all back to us. That’s where we can either consciously or unconsciously put this little blocks in our way. Thinking, “Oh, I can’t do that. Because what would this person think. Or how will I be or how will that look or am I letting people down?” Whatever that is. I think it’s just being able to…. I know it’s a hard thing to do because if you’ve got people you are accountable to, you’re gonna be responsible for. But I think it’s just trusting yourself off that. You make the best judgements and decisions that you would need. Because if you’re doing it, the bigger purpose that is not just for yourself then often things will come your way. That you would not have even thought of yourself. You kind of restricting what else could be an option for you. It can be nerve wracking but it can be also exciting. Depending how you look at it. But I do believe that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Sometimes if you get obstacles and block because the universe is redirecting you in another way. Where human ego sometimes go “You know we got it all worked out. This is how its gonna be.” But sometimes it’s like “No.” Because the universe has better plan for you.
James: I certainly, use the term universe to describe how things happen in my life. And I guess, sometimes I wonder if it is the universe somehow the “entity” that’s deciding that I’m gonna go this way or if actually in my mind, I’ve expressed the desire for it and I some kind of unconsciously linking those things up, myself. Either way, it doesn’t really matter.
Tina: That’s right.
James: kind of fascinating to think about, you know, actually what’s happening is what I’ve been thinking about this whole time anyway.
Tina: Yeah. And I think sometimes (Oh, gosh), you know. The universe is just a crack pot. But I think it’s just… we’re talking about manifesting like if you, we do create our reality through our perceptions.
James: I think we might wrap-up anyway. One question that I’d like to wrap up with is just asking people what living a happy healthy life means to them.
Tina: Yes. I think I touched on earlier. It was really looking at the different spheres of your wellbeing – your physical, emotional, spiritual, mental. And I think I have my own routines and rituals that tend to be a creator of habit and it sort of certainly starting off in the mornings some exercise, some yoga stretching, meditation. These are for me non-negotiable everyday. And I certainly know that when I don’t do that whether it’s 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever.. Just making that time to be silent which I think is really really critical. And obviously, all the healthy lifestyle, you know, nutrition things. But from a spiritual and emotion side, I think it’s having that balance between the introspection and the connection because I think it’s really important for everyone to make time – and we have to make time for it. To make time to that little bit of inner work. Checking in with we’re feeling. What is it that we feel that we need. If that means that we need to have a nap in the afternoon or if it means we need to have some alone time, some quiet time, that’s great. But it’s balancing that within connection because too much introspection, can lead to something that looks like depression or isolation. But I think we do need to have that quiet time, we need to have that time on our own. Whether it’s being in nature, going for a paddle, going for a swim, walking, hike, go to the beach, going to the park, whatever. Having some time in nature, if you can everyday, perfect. That would be great. But certainly some grounding and earthing techniques, just something that I crave for. And I know if I spend too much time in amongst the concrete jungle, I need to kind of have my little retreat for myself. But then as I said, connection. Also being mindful of the kind of connections that we have. The kind of relationships, the kind of people, I guess, that we’re spending our time with. We know ourselves when we’re connected with people that we come away with and time gone like that. We feel uplifted, energised, we feel a little positive.
Although it was cut short during the live streaming due to some technical issues, it was a great experience to have chatted with Tina as she shared her journey and experience with us. Her positivity and knowledge in the field would definitely help a lot of people struggling in life or just wanting to have professional advice to uplift one’s self-worth and live life to its full potential.
If you’re interested in her work and her expertise, check out her website here or follow her on Instagram at @tinadewberrycoaching.